Pastor Sunday Adelaja: THE FAMILY MONTH (Anointing service in July)

It is not a secret that the institution of family is the most ancient and important one among all other social institutions that exist on Earth.

The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18) This Scripture tells us that the Author of the institution of family is God. Therefore, when it comes to family issues, there is no source more trustworthy than the Word of God and His instructions.

Genesis 2:23-24: The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ’woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Proverbs 18:22: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. When people – men and women – find each other, they bring good into each other’s lives.

Unfortunately, in these last days the institution of family is undergoing serious attacks, such as:

1. Civil union
By using this term people, who do not wish to take responsibility for building a family, simply cohabit. While not registering there status as married people, they show their light-minded attitude to family; this attitude shows lack of dedication, loyalty, and sacrifice to each other.

2. Homosexuality forms a distorted understanding of the role of men and women in family.

3. Sexual relationships and pregnancy at early age (15-16 years old). This problem has become the plague of the modern society.
However, in spite of these problems, there is an instrument, which God wants to use to restore the institute of family. This instrument is Church.

What values of the institute of family should the Body of Christ bring in their families and the world to fulfill God’s desire?

1. Mutual love. You will need it both to create and maintain a family.

2. Loyalty. Without loyalty from both of the spouses no family can endure.

3. Mutual sacrifice. Sacrifice is the guarantee of a long and happy family life.

4. Mutual forgiveness. Family can endure any test if man and wife can forgive each other.

5. Humbleness, mutual submission. In other words, spouses must be able to step back, humble themselves, and accept the side of the other ad their own.

6. Patience. With this value any family will stand firm and go through any trials.

7. Mutual trust. Trust between spouses will make a family strong and enduring to all kinds of circumstances.

8. Unity

9. Reverence, mutual respect

10. Dedication, common work

11. Communication

12. Faith. This value implies faith in each other and faith in God, and submission to God’s principles.

If you observe all the abovementioned values, it will make your family strong and durable.

Philippians 2:3-5: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. This Scripture shows that only through the work of both spouses a family has a full-fledged and prosperous life.

You can ask me: if God is the Author of the institute of life, them why do we see so many broken families these days? What can become a reason to a broken family?

1. Lack of knowledge in men and women. Many get married not having prepared fully for marriage. The epistle to Ephesians 5:22-25 tells us about two main principles, on which family is built.

First principle is that man needs to be honored and respected. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Verses 22-24)

The second principle in family relationship is that a woman needs love and attention. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Verse 25).

2. Adultery and infidelity is another reason of distraction of marriage. Without mutual dedication and trust your family is doomed.

3. Many people create their families, while having abnormal demands and expectations from their future spouse. But the truth is that you should never focus on the things you can receive from your spouse, but on what you can give. For example, their belief is such that only the husband should reach for success, and the calling of wife is to support her husband’s hands. The truth is that every one is born to fulfill their own calling, and it is a part of spouses’ personal mission to support each other’s hands. You must not get married unless you have established your own identity and have a clear vision of your personal calling!

4. Absence of quality communication can also destroy your family.

5. Failure in family life happens when spouses do not wish to work on themselves (not on each other, but on themselves). You just need to want to change! If you are ready to change and understand that a happy family life is not possible without changes (sacrifices) from the sides of both spouses, then your relationship will endure everything!

6. Unforgiveness between spouses. Without forgiveness any family relationship will be torn apart. never wait for the guilty one to ask for forgiveness, - be first to forgive.

7. Family is doomed if you get used to each other so much that you show this kind of buddy-buddy manners (loss of respect and interest in one other; boredom, apathy). Therefore you need to renew your relationship all the time; find new things in your spouse and value the person given to you by God.

8. Unwillingness to work on yourself and your marriage. If you remain at the same level as you were at the point of wedding, your family relationship will soon “die”. Family is a living organism, which is supposed to grow and develop naturally. If spouses do not grow, their relationships are doomed, for when we do not develop, we do not even stay on the same level, but move backwards.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters let us work on ourselves and apply these principles and observe the true values in your family as well as help each other to create strong and happy families. Today the institution of marriage desperately needs reformation! The revival of the initial model of family created by God depends only those, who not only know, but practice these principles in their families!

In order to study this topic more thoroughly, I recommend reading the following books: “Successful Marriage Takes Work”, “Men’s happiness. Women’s happiness” – by pastor Sunday Adelaja.

May the Lord bless you and your family!